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Quitting my Facebook Addiction

Something dawned on me today, I realized that I’m spending too much time snooping around friends on Facebook, time which I should have been spending studying and hanging out. Anyway, because I find Facebook as a more enjoyable place to spend time than the real world (which is scary) and being a member of what we now call the “Facebook cult”, I realized that the most crucial aspect of Facebook is creating a flawless profile, just so  I don’t look much of a loser, especially if that cute Brazilian chic from school checks me out. Many of us are guilty of spending hours upon hours crafting our profiles to ensure everyone would think we are cool, with the flattering pictures of course, thanks to Adobe Photoshop.

There is the friend request from those people from high school who we actually never talk to. And then, there’s that whole poking thing, what’s the deal with that?  “You have been poked,” do you want me to poke back? I mean, isn’t poking an action word? Don’t poke me because I poke back! Like a hundred times. There’s also the stalking thing, and this is my favorite. Let’s face it; Facebook is an internet stalker‘s dream! Well, I wouldn’t need Facebook if there is a website that would just tell me whether or not my exes got fat. That would be awesome.

Facebook killed normal human interaction and it’s the truth, wouldn’t you rather meet some of your friends in person? I can’t, sorry I gained 20 pounds last summer. It’s much easier on Facebook, I don’t have to dress up, take a shower, use perfume and mouthwash. On Facebook you can’t smell anyone! Everyone is attractive because everyone has picked a good profile photo. And if somebody posts a negative comment, there is always the “unfriend” and “block” buttons that we all love. And how about our parents “friend-ing” us? Is that even a word? I heard about 50% of parents “friend” their children on Facebook. So Mom, please stop tagging me with my naked childhood pictures, its super embarrassing!

Facebook is the only place where people can actually talk to a wall and not be considered a loser! like for example, my wall post before a big test: “jumping off a bridge today, somebody please stop me”, the result, 12 likes and 18 comments wishing me good luck! what was that all about?

Most Facebook aficionados checks their status updates first thing when they wake up, and then  checks their Facebook pages as many as seven times while at work, at class and then checks Facebook again when they get home and one more time before they go to sleep. If you’ve been keeping count, that’s about 10 times a day.

Facebook is very interesting since it helps you to keep in touch with friends around the world.  But if you are spending large amounts of time on this site which eventually deprives you of other important matters in your life, like your 11 hours playing time of Halo 3, then you need to cut down the hours of use immediately.  Being addicted to Facebook can ruin your life. So, watch out John!

I’m so deep into this, I need to quit. And by the way, I’m also scared because my boss is following me on twitter.

Help anyone?


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